I'll have my cake and eat it too.

John mentioned to a friend of his that he was going to be moving SF with me. He also told her that I was going into the fashion industry (particularly, fashion magazines) and she said, "Does she have thick skin? Because they are really competitive out there."

Wow. Really?! Gosh darn it... I NEVER knew that. (Rigggghhhtt.)

I don't want to sound arrogant, but it was insulting to hear that. I know what I'm getting into and it's fierce. People in this industry push and shove for years to try to get to the top. I don't want to push and shove, I just want to work hard because it's something I love. I don't want to play dirty. People that play dirty don't last very long because they always get caught. Being in any industry or job that makes you a lot of money and fame on top of that will always be competitive. It's just the rules of nature. If you're going to make a lot of money or aspire to... you have to work hard for years and years until you are close to your goal.

His friend also said, "My friend worked for (insert major publication) in NY and they made it so hard for her that she use to cry."

I'm expecting this industry to try to chew me up... and swallow me whole. I know people are going to try to make me crack but I'm there to stay. I'm a tough cookie. I got it from my parents. They came from nothing and are successful now. I'm so proud of them. They came here from a different country and had absolutely nothing. They made a great life here and I want to do that for myself, in my own way.

As a child, I was really emotional when I was criticized about anything. Now that I'm older, I have this weird stamina for criticism. I don't think of it as a personal attack. I want to take any kind of criticism that will help better me as a person. I try not to take things personally. I'm okay with if you think what I'm wearing is crazy/weird/overdone. This is very much me. Take it or leave it.

I love magazines and looking at trends that they make, but I'm not really a person that likes follow trends. They go away and the money that you spend on a trend becomes wasted after a season. I like things that will look modern for years... something that isn't said to be in style but it looks good on me because I understand my body and my style. I don't want part of the industry that does things to make people happy. I'm here to push boundaries. I'm on this earth to be outside of the box. I'm here to make my stamp in this industry.

And when I get there (which won't be right away, of course) I'll have my cake and eat it too.