Back to Cali

(Lucus hanging out on his favorite love seat... doesn't he look sweet?)

I’m actually on my flight right now back to San Francisco. It’s a weird feeling… a bit of excitement because I get to see people that and the familiar space. Since I have never felt at home in California before. Home as in, where I belong. Any time I have ever been to New York, I always felt like this was where I truly belong. In California, I have amazing family and friends and I love them dearly… and miss them badly. But I don’t regret moving 3000 miles away.

New York is like what everyone says. It loves you and it eats you up and spits you out. You have intense days- good and bad. There are times when I’m there and I hate it so bad, I was thisclose to moving back. I found a few reasons that made me want to almost move back immediately. Things that I loved and that were familiar, but I knew it wasn’t right. Being in New York is meant to be.

I had only 10 days to pack to get here. I threw everything in boxes and said my goodbyes and in a blink of an eye, I was in New York. My boss, which is an amazing, kind person, set me up with his friend that was living in Brooklyn. She let me crash there for a few days, while I was trying to find a place. I found one within 2 days and moved in. I love my apartment and I love my neighborhood. I mean… I’m near everything and I don’t even need to leave a 3 block radius (but of course I do.) When I thought I was settled down enough, I looked for a job in fashion. I looked thoroughly and applied at places that I knew would be a great experience. I got replies back right away and then, I found the perfect job. Ideally, I want to work with someone that is absolutely passionate in what they do. I want to be behind them 100% and I want to work hard for them. Within the first month with this designer, I’ve learned so much about all aspects of her business. It’s very serial for me and exciting and overwhelming. Sometimes I can’t believe I’m sitting with her there and looking at fabrics for her current line. I only dreamt about doing that and then bam. I am.

But anyways… going back to California reminds me of this dark time for me… when I was struggling really hard to even get my foot in the door. I don’t regret anything I’ve done in my lfe that has brought me to where I am now. Not a single thing. I’m lucky to now be residing somewhere where my opportunities are endless. I love how I can have a conversation with someone that doesn’t even know me and they can just tell how enthusiastic I am and passionate about what I want to do… and they want to help me. Surprising right? Everything that I have done has been because of me and it’s liberating. I know that the best way to get in the door is if you know someone, but I came there knowing no one. I think the majority of people that move to New York take that chance and end up finding what they were looking for. Some people stay, some people leave but you just can’t bet what a city like this ends up giving you.

I’m just glad I never gave up.